Miserable me

The darkened clouds knock again,
Then I cannot see the light,
Isolated and so alone,
They have taken all my fight.

Things so simple yesterday,
Now impossible to see,
I have no worth and no - one to care,
My actions are not free.

Why can't I answer when you call,
Post a witty line on media's page,
Everyday life is just too hard,
When locked up in this cage.

There's nothing there anymore,
No remnants of my former being,
I float above in third person state,
Can't believe what I am seeing.

How can I still be functioning,
Why do I always say 'I'm fine',
When inside I'm struggling everyday,
I'm just running out the time.

No wonder things go wrong for me,
That I cannot calm these storms,
All my life is chasing happiness,
So this turmoil is my norm.

As I carry on as just a shell,
My mind regresses so much more,
I don't think I will ever find,
Happiness that I had before.

So I'll sit under this demijohn,
Looking out at all I see,
Yearning for the time again,
When I'm no longer miserable me.

Becky Clemett